Find Your Story – Early Bird Tickets

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Recently Lynda Resnick, the CEO of a two billion dollar conglomerate whose brands include Fiji Water, Teleflora, and POM Wonderful, stated the principle behind her success. “I donʼt do companies that donʼt have a story. If they donʼt have a story, they donʼt have a business.”

Sign up here: http://june-find-your-story.eventbrite.com/

In this four hour, interactive workshop you will learn to tell a story which…

  • …makes others care about whatʼs important to you;
  • …differentiates yourself from your competition;
  • …speaks to the challenges that face your clients, manager or direct reports;
  • …transforms trying to convince people into having them see new possibilities;
  • …enrolls new clients and co-workers.

Past participants in this workshop have included attorneys, accountants, coaches, managers, engineers, entertainment executives, officers of non-profits, entrepreneurs, and even actual rocket scientists. It can help you, too!

Finding hidden treasure

The people we work with every day are often the ones we know the least about – usually they have hidden talents & skills that would enrich our business and personal lives.  Here’s an example of that:

Jim was a CEO of a manufacturing company based in Chicago. One day, one of his employees, a janitor named Helen, suddenly died. That made Jim sad—then he was amazed to read that over 5000 people went to the womanʼs funeral, including a reporter from The Chicago Tribune. To Jim, Helen was just a janitor—but her full story was much, much more.

For twenty years, after the workday was over, Helen had been a choir director. She had organized and trained ten choirs at ten different churches. It was this life outside of work —a life her bosses knew nothing about—that made Helenʼs entire community turn out to pay its respects.

Jim contacted Helenʼs husband, to give his condolences. “Your wife was remarkable,” Jim said. “She mustʼve really been inspiring to people.” “Yes. And she had great organizational skills,” Helenʼs husband said. “Our company needs people like that. I wish Iʼd known!” From now on, Jim thought to himself, Iʼm going to know the total employee, not just what they do from nine-to-five. My company will discover and encourage gifted people who will share their stories and, whenever possible, support the entire person.

As a leader, do you know what your employees care about away from the office? Do you understand what inspires them or keeps them up late at night? How do you encourage your employees to break down “silos” and share their stories? How do you motivate your people to enrich and vitalize the work culture?

One program Jim started was a bi-monthly lunch where employees were encouraged to share who they were and what they did. People became interested in each otherʼs activities and projects. The most worthy projects were awarded grants from the organization and drew volunteers from all levels of the company. Jim has noticed an improved morale with more loyal employees, who stay with the company longer.

Join me at my Finding Your Story Workshop and release your hidden treasure!

(P.S. if that link doesn’t work, copy and paste this one: http://www.eventbrite.com/event/1742974283)

Stories From Clay

My mom was a sculptor. I remember seeing her working the clay in the early morning light. Her face was forceful yet serene during the creative ritual of folding and refolding, mashing and smoothing the mixture as she added the right amounts of clay and water. Finally she’d smile—the clay had begun to take on her vitality; it was ready to become a woman’s torso; a roadrunner in pursuit of a snake; an Indian dancer clad in gold. The sculptor works the clay to get the consistency right, to work out any air bubbles. This is a physical process, but it’s also a mental warm up – getting ready to mold the clay.

Like clay, storytelling is malleable, plastic, alive. Most stories won’t come out right the first time you tell them (or the second or third time, for that matter), but that’s okay! You can change it.

One of the biggest challenges I face when coaching new clients is getting them to open up and tell their stories, imperfections and all. They want the story to be perfect the first time around. Through our work together, they discover that stories are living, breathing things that will change and improve over time.

Here are a few steps to make your stories come alive:

  • When you feel that your story isn’t perfect, tell it anyways! Tell it to yourself, tell it to your cat, your dog, a friendly tree. If you’re feeling self-conscious about talking to yourself while walking down the street, just put in your earbuds or Bluetooth. People will think you’re talking on your cell phone!
  • Once you’ve built some confidence telling your story to sympathetic trees, it’s time to find a friend or two (5-10 really, but who’s counting?). Tell them your story and ask for feedback. What caught their attention? What parts dragged and need to be cut out? Tell them that they can’t hurt your feelings, and that the worst feedback is no feedback (generic “I liked it” or “it was ok” responses do not count as feedback). Take in what they tell you and use what works for you. And most importantly, keep telling the story. Practice makes perfect.
  • Now you’re ready for primetime! Tell your story in front of a networking group, open a presentation with it, use it in a media interview. You have the confidence to tell a compelling story.

Stories aren’t written in stone (at least not for the last few thousand years!). Successful stories are vital, malleable, and alive. Remember, when your story…

  • brings passion
  • has a clear point of view
  • articulates the challenge
  • and delivers a new solution

…you can change the world!

Join us at Bob’s Communicating With Passion And Clarity Workshop coming May 19th and work on your story with Bob.

If the above link isn’t working copy and paste the following into your browser:http://firstvoice-may19-11.eventbrite.com/

Business Lessons From An NYPD Homicide Cop

Jerry Giorgio is affectionately called Big Daddy Uptown by his colleagues due to his ability to get confessions from even the most hardened criminals. You might be surprised to learn he doesn’t water board, use a rubber hose, or even resort to verbal abuse. His secret weapon is more powerful; it’s storytelling. “You’ve heard of ‘Good Cop/Bad Cop’ I don’t need the bad cop. I’m always the good cop because deep down everybody wants to tell his or her story. No matter how damaging it is or how important it is to remain quiet, suspects want to tell their story. The secret is to get the suspects talking. The stream of words will eventually flow to the truth.”

If Big Daddy Uptown can get hardened criminals to open up, think how much easier it is for you to get your customers, clients, and managers to open up and tell their story.  The urge to tell a story is innate and powerful, it only takes a little coaxing to get most people to start sharing.*

The advantages to getting people to share their story is profound; You learn what they really care about. You discover their concerns and challenges.  You understand what’s on their mind and in their hearts. Actively listening to people opens the door to a deeper, longer term relationship. While listening you gain trust and the hidden knowledge to close the deal

So, what can you do to draw someone’s story out?  Here are a couple of quick tips:

Ask them three questions:

  • What’s vital and important for you to accomplish?
  • What’s getting in your way?
  • How can I help?

These questions are designed to prompt people to tell their story. Like Big Daddy, be prepared to really listen.   You’ll be amazed to discover how much you learn.

Take your communication to the next level with Bob’s Communicating With Passion And Clarity Workshop coming May 19th.

If the above link isn’t working copy and paste the following into your browser: http://firstvoice-may19-11.eventbrite.com/

*Source material from “The Dark Art of Interrogation” by Mark Boden, published in The Atlantic Monthly

NY Times Post: Tell A Story

NY Times article today stresses that successful businesses thrive because they have an exciting story to tell:
http://boss.blogs.nytimes.com/2011/03/17/trying-to-connect-with-customers-tell-a-story/?ref=business

The only way to get good at telling your story and inspiring people with it is to practice. And it’s even better to practice with people who understand how to give useful feedback. Come to Bob’s Story Tune-Up Workshop and practice telling your story!

Less than 1 week left before Story Tune-Up Workshop begins, sign up here: http://march24-story-tune-up.eventbrite.com/

Tell to Win

Every once in a while something comes along that you want to share.I’ve just read a galley of Tell to Win: Connect, Persuade and Triumph with the Hidden Power of Story, and itʼs unlike any business/self-help book Iʼve ever read. Itʼs entertaining, informative and transformative.

Written by Peter Guber, Tell to Win teaches you how to tell emotionally resonant stories to persuade, motivate, excite and incite others to your goal for success. Most importantly, it provides the impetus for them to viral market it for you. It delivers tools and takeaways that you can use today to change your tomorrow.

If you think telling “purposeful stories” is fluff or only relevant for bedtime stories, these masters in their fields—everyone from Bill Clinton to Pat Riley—will convince you otherwise.

You probably know Peter’s name: he’s produced/executive produced Batman, Rain Man, Gorillas in the Mist, Flashdance and The Color Purple. He’s been Studio Chief at Columbia Pictures and Chairman and CEO of Sony Pictures; his current venture, Mandalay Entertainment Group, recently acquired the Golden State Warriors. Suffice to say, my friend Peter is somebody to listen to.

The book will be published March 1, 2011 from Crown/Random House. If you order prior to March 1, 2011, you gain access to a digital gift bag chock-full of leadership, marketing and social media resources.

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This is a great book. I look forward to hearing of your success when you Tell To Win.

“From my muscles”

Ladies and gentlemen, it is nearly Spring and, according to ancient Chinese five-element wisdom, Spring is the time for new growth, vision and creativity. It is the time to develop new ideas and expand enterprises. As the purple lilac blooms, and tiny green seedlings push through the warm soft earth, take a moment and reflect: where do new ideas come from?

Albert Einstein was asked this very question one beautiful Spring morning, while he and a reporter strolled through the campus of Princeton: “Where do your ideas come from?” Einstein stopped for a moment. “From my muscles,” he replied with a smile. “Yes, they come from my muscles.”

Einstein paid attention to processes and patterns that most of us dismiss or ignore. Muscles contract and expand; so, apparently, does the Universe. Einstein was a genius in the original form of that term: someone awake to the universal spirit within.

The core of my book is about how to use the five elements to communicate compellingly But sometimes we don’t have time to think about all five before we develop a story so then what do we do?

I suggest to my clients they start with passion or the fire in the belly. Describe a moment or event that you are excited about and if it is authentic, chances are the client or your boss will respond in a positive manner.

For instance, when I was working with scientists and designers to develop a new kids museum, my job was to help these adults think like children again. I though what could produce a common passion, which could create shared stories? What is something in nature we all have had experience with as children? The answer was bugs.

I brought a collection of creepy bugs to the meeting. Of course they were all in glass containters and covered under white sheets. At the right moment, I pulled the sheet away to reveal the insect world below.

Well, the scientsits and designers burst into stories about their childhood experiences with spiders, ants and roaches etc. Everyone was passionate about bugs and this helped people remember what it was like to be a kid again and that was the point of exercise. So find the common passion and tell a story about it. Then stand back and watch the sparks fly.

New Japanese Intro to Elements

Max, my writing partner, and I have been asked by the Japanese publisher of our book to add an introduction. I am posting it and look forward to hearing your comments.

There are five basic elements in every story – the passion or vitality with which it is told, the hero that allows us to enter the story and make it our own, the obstacle the hero must confront, the awareness that allows the hero to prevail and create something new. The fifth element of transformation occurs when the other elements have found their expression within the story. These five story elements are the same in every culture. As this book will show, these elements are literally hardwired into the human neuroanatomy and contribute to making each of us a human being. However, the way each culture expresses these elements is its own. This unique cultural expression is what gives our global marketplace its diversity and excitement. Cross-fertilization between cultures not only opens up new markets, it releases vital and potentially highly profitable ideas. What is the key to letting this happen? The universal need to tell a good story.

As an American teenager growing up in the car culture of California, Robert had an unusual ambition – he wanted to become a Buddhist monk and study Zen. So at 20, after a long trip from San Diego to Mishima city, he found himself on ancient stone steps leading up to Ryutaki-Ji Monastery. There under the guidance of the monastery’s Abbot, Soen Nakagawa Roshi, he began a life devoted to understanding the nature of Mind, and realized for the first time that story – in this case in the highly refined story form of Zen koans; was the key to unlocking the minds mysteries.

As a typical starving writer on the cold streets of New York City, Richard was a movie fan who had to make every dollar count. The Bijou Theater was just off Times Square. There he could see three different Samurai films for the price of a single admission. It soon became a warm second home. So it made sense that his first feature film, The Challenge, staring the great actor Toshiro Mifune told the story of an American boxer who finds his true calling in a traditional samurai clan. The film was shot in Kyoto, and it was over dinner with Mifune that Richard came to fully appreciate the generous sense of equality that resides in the heart of all great story heroes. That recognition has remained central to Richard’s work, both in Hollywood and as a corporate consultant.

Though the examples used in this book are drawn from American Culture the story telling tradition in Japan is so rich and profound that we are sure our Japanese readers will supply their own examples drawn from their life experience. This will become easier as they become familiar with the five story elements.

For example:

· The Passion that drives a story is nowhere more apparent than in the Bushido, which is so elegantly embodied in the writing, art and life of Miyamoto Musashi, or in Mifune’s performances in the Samurai Trilogy. We specifically deal with this is Chapter 2.

· Understanding the role of the Hero in a corporate story is a key to developing brand identity. It is no accident that many of the worlds most exciting brands are Japanese, or that the theories of American consultant W. Edward Demming were embraced first in Japan as Kaizen or striving for perfection by Toyota, Honda, Sony and many other Japanese companies years before Demming’s ideas were adopted by American corporations. Demmings idea of encouraging every voice – from the factory floor to the executive suite – released enourmous creative power which made each worker a hero. This is a powerful way to build brand loyality- from the inside out.

· As an export driven economy, Japanese executives constantly meet new challenges as they struggle to overcome cultural barriers and penetrate new markets. The ability to see Obstacles as opportunities is crucial for Japan’s continued success. Now Japan is facing the ultimate obstacle – its own recent economic past. In chapters 6 and 7 we deal with the neurological links between memory and emotion. We suggest that conflict, which is often seen as a negative, can be used creatively to reinforce core values and increase capability.

· The most often misunderstood story element is Awareness. Awareness is nowhere more richly explored than in the Japanese concept of Shibui or the ability to reduce art, ideas and products to their essence. The intricate balance between form and spontaneity of Shibui lies at the heart of the tea ceremony, flower arranging, the Zen garden and the thousands of everyday and ceremonial acts that form Japanese culture. Shibui is a core reason why Japanese aesthetics and design are so universally appreciated and copied. Ultimately story is about creating a unique and welcoming space and here too Japanese culture is a fertile ground worth exploring.

· In a successful story the hero and by extension the audience must change otherwise there is no point to the story. The trivals of time and obstacles, excert a pressure on the hero to grow into something new and unimagined at the begining of the story. Good stories provide a vechile for transformation.

Following is an example of how an ancient tale helped transform Robert’s life: “I was very fortunate to study with Soen Roshi. He loved stories from every culture, but especially those from the most ancient theater-Noh. On very special occasions I would accompany him to see these great plays. Roshi would whisper into my ear just enough of the plot to help me follow along.

The first Noh play I saw with him was The Bird-Catcher in Hell. As the lights darkened and the actors began gliding across the stage and the ancient Gagaku music began, I soon forgot I was an American; I forgot that I was in Japan; I forgot that I was watching a play; I forgot I was alive. In that ancient chamber in the middle of Tokyo I was transported to a place of wailing spirits and angry ghosts seeking justice. I became a ghost floating in the hidden world of Yama. Like the play’s hero, I longed to be released from the karma of inflicting suffering on others. I wanted to be transformed and I was. That was Roshi’s gift to me. That is the gift of all great stories. They strip away everything extraneous and make us remember that we all share a common sacred space.

We sincerely hope this book will be helpful to our Japanese readers. And we hope that you, dear reader, will help us in our continued study of story. If you find this book helpful and its theory interesting please communicate your examples and insights to us by contacting our website www.theelementsofpersuasion.com We look forward to sharing your thoughts on story and culture.

We would like to express our deep appreciation for the painstaking work of our Japanese translators Yokoyama, Shigeru and Prof. Yamaguchi in making our work both understandable and entertaining. Thank you.

Open Book

Think not disdainfully of death, but look on it with favor; for even death is one of the things that Nature wills.
Marcus Aurelius Antoninus

My friend Phil died a year ago today. His influence on my life is stronger than ever.  He was my equivalent of Tuesday’s with Morrie- Actually better because I was gaining Phil’s wisdom in real time-live from the tap.  All I had to do was walk a few blocks to his apartment and offer to buy him a cup of green tea.

Phil was a big man with a barrel chest, white hair and a deep and resonate voice. He loved chess and tutored any neighborhood kid who showed an interest. As a young man he became a Marine and the GI Bill paid for his education. He earned a doctorate in English and taught in universities and colleges up and down the west coast.  Phil had mastered many arts and was a great storyteller. The story that affected me most deeply was how he approached his death.

Phil was diagnosed with bladder cancer. His doctors offered to cut a big chunk out of his internal pluming. They told him he was likely to die within six months without an operation. Phil read up on the topic and discovered the likelihood of a life filled with post operative pain and infection.  Phil declined their offer. He said that living well was more important than living long.

After his decision,  Phil’s behavior was the opposite from someone passively waiting to die. He changed his diet, began a disciplined meditation practice, took long walks in nature and read everything he could about non-invasive cancer treatments. He began to lose the Falstaff belly and his good humor returned.

He loved reading books from both Western and Asian wisdom traditions. His favorite philosopher was Socrates. Socrates’ philosophy gave Phil a profound perspective on life and death. Phil grasped that real philosophy was much more relevant to life than a bunch of old guys debating obscure positions. He understood that Socrates was speaking clearly about life and death issues. Here is a quote from Socrates Phil liked to read, “Ordinary people seem not to realize that those who really apply themselves in the right way to philosophy are directly and of their own accord preparing themselves for dying and death.”

Phil amazed his friends as well as a couple of astonished doctors, because he didn’t die six months later or even 5 years later. He lived another 10 years. In that time he wrote two books of poetry, which he illustrated with photos taken while he was on his walks. Once, toward the end of his life, I asked him “what is it like to die?” He thought for a moment and smiled “It’s an interesting experience and not at all what I thought.” Phil lived the final part of his life as an open book rather than a closed chapter. He had great clarity and little need to turn away from what was in store for him. His curiosity and sense of inquiry changed fear into acceptance and acceptance into joy.